The Robin Chronicles II...Part 4

The Robin Chronicles II...Part 4

-Only in America do you find a Wal-Mart DIRECTLY across the street from a $1.2 billion dollar stadium, that’s right folks, there is a f-ing Wal-Mart across the street from The House That Jerry Built!

-Never poop in a hotel room with the door open. The lack of air flow can make it take forever for the smell to dissipate, even with the windows open and if it has ceiling fan running full-tilt, bad news, bad news....

-So I was out for dinner at a place in Waco, Texas (yup, David Koresh and those psycho Branch Davidians) and they had a ½ price on the Crazy Wings. Good times. Their chicken with jalapenos and Jack cheese wrapped inside them, and then the whole thing is wrapped in bacon and deep fried! And the bacon stays on the chicken! Very tasty indeed, and Mr. Matt is probably figuring out how to make them as you read this...

-So I got smart and started using the voice recorder on my BlackBerry to record clips to remind me what to write here. Until one day when I put my phone in my pocket with out locking it, and had to erase 62 9 minute and 30 second clips of the truck, and garbled conversations of meeting with customers and talking to the rep. Not fun at all, unless you enjoy thing like poking yourself in the eye with a sharp stick.

-So I did get the chance to go to Oklahoma City, OK. Problem was I was staying in Fort Worth, Texas. Nothing like 7 hours of driving just to get to and from your calls for the day. But on the bright side, I did get to eat at “Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar” and Rob, I did think of you. Freaking awesome! Big American flags hanging up, bright beer signs, Ford tailgates made into bench seats, just classic redneck American done nicely, and country music playing!

-So I’m driving around the US and Canada in my big ole’ custom truck, cost somewhere north of $100K (probably one of the most expensive rides I’ll ever drive) and the sucker doesn’t have cup holders, not a single one!!!! There maybe be some Robin modifications made, but I’m debating holesaw into the custom counter vs. PVC and epoxy....

-So I was down in Houston and was saw cab called, and I shit you not, “The Black Express, the Slab Cab” and of course it had the big shiny chrome rims, and chrome mirrors, chrome trim, chrome around the light, chrome door handles, everything except the paint(shiny blue) was freaking chrome, right down to the letters...and some people wonder why stereo-types exist and others believe them...well, the dude driving wasn’t white...

-I love how I can walk into some hotels, just give them my name and agree to keep the charges on the card, and I’m off to my room. Other places, you just gotta show a credit card, and others still you gotta show a credit card AND your driver’s license. No rhyme or reason, price point or otherwise.

-So I am going to the Arkansas Razorbacks vs. Texas A&M Aggies game at the House That Jerry Built. And there is a TON or Razorback fans driving around. And they are not subtle. Multiple flags flying, giant stickers on the doors and back-end, shirts, everything except the face paint(I’m sure it’ll be there at the game). On Friday morning, a little after 7 am I drove by the RV lot to find out where my tailgate is, and there were dozens of big-ass RV’s already there. Flying giant Razorbacks flags, giant Fathead sized decals, tents, and some RV’s in possible Arkansas influenced colors. I love college football!

-The thing you see crossing the Red River from Oklahoma into Texas on I-35 is a porn store...just saying...

-The Oklahoma migration to Dallas for the Red River Rivalry game is unlike anything I have ever witnessed. For 200 miles, I was passed by a steady stream of OU Boomer Sooners. Lots of dualie work pick-ups with couples, cars, SUV’s, work trucks, just insane. And again, the flags, big OU decals and everyone wearing red, although the Arkansas fans are more open and loud about it with the vehicles. And the OU followers include some spectacular talent, and lots of damm good talent.

-And the scene in Dallas at the hotel 5 miles from the stadium the morning of the game was nothing short of pandemonium. A huge lot crammed full of cars, a ton of people, all wearing OU red or UT burnt orange and a traffic jam of limos, cabs, and stretch Hummers picking up people, along with those driving. Nuts.

-So over the past 2 days I’ve cover 800 miles of Middle America, through Kansas, Nebraska, and into South Dakota. Thankfully alot of it wasn’t on your typical highways, but back road “highways”. IE, one lane in each direction with a dotted yellow line in between, and a speed limit of 65mph. These have rolled through some of the most beautiful and empty countryside you could imagine. Nothing like cresting a rise in the road and seeing a valley spread out for miles below, and the fields and pastures for miles on either side. Today i could see over 100 miles to the Rockies to the far West. Unreal how beautiful it was. And the road was empty. I often would pull over to take pictures and could cross the road with ease, hardly ever got passed while stopped, and it was just a gorgeous, peaceful cruise through what has accurately been described as God’s Country. Days like today are why I love this job.

-And then I crest the hill into Rapid City, South Dakota, the closest city to Mount Rushmore. 68,000 people and it looks like somebody opened up a bag and flung a city across a valley. Gaps between areas, no rhyme or reason to it, just a sprawling mess. Hell, there was even a hayfield between my hotel and downtown!

-And downtown is right out of a 1950’s movie, with the cars parked at an angle to the curb, and quaint buildings and shops right down Main Street. Awesome.

-So I passed a BNSF work train with two engines and about a dozen open-top box cars. And on top of two cars they had full-size backhoes. That’s right, BACKHOES ON TOP OF BOXCARS! On the front under the bucket was a giant clamping device to help hold them on, and the back where the two stabilizers go down, each of those was also a clamp to hold it perched above the opening in the box car. And what were they doing up there? Reaching into the cars and hauling out and depositing new railroad ties at steady intervals along the track, which I passed the piles of for the next 20+ miles. Gonna be alot of working on the railroad in Nebraska, but backhoes ON TOP of boxcars!

-I’d like to see them lift those backhoes up into the air and get them clamped to the narrow sides of the box cars. And watch out for any bridges...

-When I was in the Dallas area, I stopped into see Andy Morgan and his lovely family. He was kind enough to let me do some was, but he ended up doing my whites b/c I was going to throw them all in, like always. Anyways, not sure what he did, but damm, my clothes have never smelt so good!

-I am on a mission to decimate the bug population across Canada and Middle America one mile at a time with two giant windshields and a big front end, which some guys like....

-So I visited Mount Rushmore, and it was more impressive than I expected, and the views from the mountain are incredible! It is definitely bigger in person than I expected, and well worth the trip. A person can easily spend several days on the area around Rapid City, SD that is the closest town to Rushmore.

-After I left Rushmore, I went and visited the Crazy Horse project. Talk about slow. I don’t think it’ll be finished in my lifetime. They do it all on donations, and only have the face done. They say it’s massive, but you really can’t get close enough to gauge the size unlike Rushmore. Can’t say I was impressed.

-And then I went and did one of the scenic drives as the day was fast approaching it’s conclusion(and mind you, I left the hotel at 8am!). I got a map at Mount Rushmore that showed a scenic drive, and I noticed that there was several tunnels on the route. One I was too wide for, the tunnel was 8’ wide, and I’m 8’ without the mirrors, and another I was too wide and too tall for. So I went the other way b/c it appeared I would fit through the three tunnels...so I’m driving along, and I get to where I want to start this adventure and there’s a big, clearly visible sign that said “No Trucks” which I drove right by after getting a picture of it...Good thing it was late in the day, because the road was up and over a mountain, and all hairpin turns and switch backs. Basically no shoulders, and each lane including the paint wasn’t always 8’, I could see the tires driving on the lines...and on several of the turns I had to throw the front end wide onto a shoulder if there was one, or more often, take ¾ of the road to make the turns, but the views and the wild life were well worth the extreme attention I had to pay to every second of driving. And then I got to the first tunnel...and talk about tight. By their measurements I should have had plenty of clearance, but I was just low enough and if I got stuck in the tunnel, there would have been no opening the doors, glad I made it! I wish I had taken a picture, but I couldn’t open the door, and I wouldn’t want to be blocking the road in a logo’ed truck, maybe another time...

-It’s not supposed to be cold tonight, only about minus 4 degrees