what a day...

-So it's never fun to wake up early on Sunday, even less fun in a hotel all alone, and even worse because some lady down the hall is shrieking/screaming absolutely hysterical...so doing the nice thing after shaking the cobwebs out of my head and finding some shorts, I went out to see what was up...turns out her husband had fallen in the shower, wasn;t breathing and there was blood everywhere! She was on the phone just screaming "I need an ambulance, Call 911, Christoher isn't breathing" Some other couple was trying to help, so I offered to go to the desk to make sure they got the message....and as I was heading back up stairs, the cops came in, I gave them the directions on where to head... not sure what happened, but I hoped he made it, the hospital was less than a mile down the road, but they took her out on a stretcher too, she was out of her mind, and I can't say I blame her

-Then tonight, you know it's a bad fucking sign when the damm cab driver, who's not wearing glasses, needs a fucking magnifying glass to read the map on which you show him where you want to go....one of those free hotel maps, ain't hard to read...awful driver he was to, cut off a bus with a few inches to spare, and his tailgating made me look good, I'd rather ride in car with Dombi driving...in a bad mood...

-I did have a nice dinner, some excellent minestrone soup followed by an awesome pasta dish with duck, mushrooms, and leeks over fresh linguine in a butter/olive oil sauce, fantastic!

Yeah, so it finally happened, but it wasn't my fault!

-So it happened about two weeks ago. An accident. On April Fool's Day. Nothing but a minor fender bender where I got rear-ended. Or atleast a minor fender-bender for me. Wrecked her Avalanche though, and no she was not attractive or single...
-She decided not to stop from about 45-50mph and ran into me...all I felt was a bump as my truck moved about 6 inches while waiting behind a line of trucks for the light to change. I was hoping for a few scratches, but it was not to be. i was wicked worried about her and her passengers though, she totaled that thing out, engine was leaking fluids, front end destroyed, bad news. They were shaken up but not hurt thankfully.

-So now I've spent the last couple days tooling around in a Chevy HHR, kind of like a Mini Cooper. I could never own one, I might die. I keep cranking it around, pretending like I'm in the Italian Job or something. It is a fun little car, but it could also be the fact that it's not a 35' 10 ton truck either that makes it feel so sporty...and I feel like I'm sitting on the damm ground...my ass in my truck seat is higher than the roof of the HHR....

-So Enterprise gave me a choice of two cars, a ass-ugly Kia Soul or the HHR, I chose the car made in America with the bow-tie...The Heartbeat of America as they used to say....

-Can't wait to see what the bill is for welding an aluminum body and re-fabricating a custom bumper out of 3/4" solid aluminum!

Not so young anymore

-Yeah, so 4 days of drinking free booze for 6-7 hours straight each day is now rough. I've learned to pace myself, and to not try and keep up with the older guys in the company drinking either Dewars and water, or Grey Goose and soda water 'cause their champs...unreal...

-I warned my buddy to watch out for the old dudes at the sales conference he was going to. And yep, those old dudes were hammering it back also...he turned in early and thanked me for the warning...

-So I could have done with out that. Driving to Little Rock, AR yesterday from Memphis, TN I saw a trucker pissing on the side of the road next to his rig. Not a big deal other than he was by the back of the trailer, facing traffic with his dick clearly visible...NASTY...fat trucker dick....

-We all know if it had been a chick peeing with her goods visible, I would have wrecked my truck...LOL...

The Robin Chronicles II…Part 5...Mr. Matt kicked me in the ass to get back to it....

The Robin Chronicles II…Part 5

-I’ve been slacking, so I’ll try and catch up the next few weeks, but all this is older stuff….

-So I’m at the Marriott Downtown Ottawa, and I called to make sure they could park an RV, and 10 meter one. And the bellhop guy said no problem. Turn out, they can, but I get to pay for the privilege of parking my own truck on the street next to the hotel. I like this scam, I pay to valet my own truck. Actually, my employer pays, but still funny. And I still had to give them the f-ing keys. But both ways to access the back are locked with a separate set of keys, which are in my pocket! No freebies for you!

-So my room on the 16^th floor has a nice view, and the damm TV is an LG flat screen of 40+”, nicer than any TV I’ve ever owned. And I have my own little mini Keurig machine in the room. Fancy citrus Bath and Body works shampoo and such in the bathroom, soft towels. And seven freaking pillows on the king bed! What the hell and I to do with seven pillows? Hell, one is shaped like a cylinder! I need on flat, preferably semi-soft pillow, 6 more is over kill. Good thing I sleep well every night in a hotel though, first night, last night, drunk, whatever, I sleep fine.

-Went out last night in downtown Montreal. That dinner did me no intestinal favors. I went to what appeared to be, and was a brew pub. I know people who make better beer at home! Didn’t stop me from drinking and drinking it though…. And I finally saw some of these mythical hot Canadian women. I’ll be glad to be back in the USA. Their English is still better than my French though….

-Another Canadian restaurant with an American name: St. Louis’ Wings and Ribs. And Boston Pizza, yes Boston Pizza, exactly the town I equate in my mind with great pizza. Of course, the French also eat snails and frogs legs…

-So this weekend I get to drive from Ottawa to Eastern Canada, about 13+ hrs, then in two weeks I get to drive 4 hrs west past Ottawa. Which is about a 18hr drive from where I finish up in Eastern Canada. Great planning, but I’ll go wherever as long as they keep paying the fuel bill…

-So I was down in Austin, TX this fall and got to go to Green Mesquite from Triple D. The food is awesome, from the BBQ to the sauce to the jambalaya…and the resulting gas peeled the paint and tile off the walls in my hotel room…I had the jambalya with a 6pack of Fat Tire watching some college football at the hotel

-Tex Mex the food that bites back….

-So after Austin I went up to Dallas for work and went to Arkansas vs. Texas A&M in the Southwest Classic at the house that Jerry built. They charge you $8.50 for a fucking beer, but don’t give change, so you end up paying $9 for a fucking beers. Assholes.

-The House That Jerry Built is right across the street from a Wal-Mart. Only in America.

-And thanks to my cousin Shawn you had a tailgate at the game, all the beer and BBQ I could drink and eat…awesome…and his company paid the tab…Beer, BBQ, and college football in the South…does life get any better?

-Would someone please tell me how a chick with no titties keeps up a strapless dress???

-It has to be uniquely Canadian that you can go to a brewpub where they make their own beer and get a bottle of some mass-produced beer. Defies the entire reason for going now doesn’t it? I know you can’t do that shit at Gritty’s.

-So flying back into Canada from my buddy Chris wedding ( Congrats to Chris and Mel), I got my first ever Canadian passport stamp. And I had entered and left Canada twice by that point. And the Customs lady was a total bitch!. Wanted to know why I didn’t have stamps, why wasn’t a Canadian hired for the job, couldn’t a Canadian do the job. The hoe-bag finally shut her pie hole when I said it was the only truck and I spend most of my time in the US. Bitch.

-So I stayed at a hotel that had opened the day before. So I was the first person to use the room and the towels. Which was nice because the towels were super soft. And then I realized my face and balls were covered in towel fuzz…

-So you know when you pull on your pants and re-adjust your boxers back down your leg? Nothing like starting off the morning by shoving your fingers through the edge of the bottom of your boxers while re-adjusting them….might be time for some new skivvies…

-Hornitos tequila: 100% agave, purer than your intentions….awesome label, and so true…

-Aluminum vs. concrete=concrete wins

-So I did a survey for Dell regarding a computer I returned, and one of the questions regarded the customer service rep’s verbal/written communication and clarity, I guess finally got the hint that we want to speak to people we can freaking understand!

-I swear it is impossible to walk across a Wal-Mart and not pass by the lingerie section. Doesn’t do a thing for me, but it can not be avoided.

-So I got the oil changed in the truck, just a mere 16 quarts…apparently a tractor trailer rig is 42quarts , holy smokes!

-So I was in this one account near Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada and they had a drill for sale. It was a Vulcan 3/8” cordless drill, for the low price of $14.97. The freakin hand screwdrivers I sell retail for more! I can only imagine what a pile of shit the Vulcan must be. Who buys that crap? Really?

So right before Thanksgiving I had fun in Montana…not…

-Montana may be the only state where the female bartenders wear their wedding rings at work…don’t they know shit like that costs them tip money…

-So on November 20^th I drove from Billings, MT to Bozeman, MT. It is 140 miles. It took me 4 HOURS. It had snowed all night, most of the way less than a lane was kind of clear, the snow was light and blowing across the road, and I have never seen that many cars off the road in my life. I would have turned around, except when I realized how bad it was, there was TWO 18-wheelers jackknifed on the other side of the road going down a hill, shutting that side down. They were about 50’ from each other, each identical to the other. Both front tires in the ditch, both trailers blocking the entire road, both cabs smashed in the back from the extreme angle of the jackknife. You couldn’t park two trucks like that, they were perfected copies, and closed the f-ing road!

-When was the last time I ever did 30 mph on the highway by choice?

-Driving through that hell listeining to ZZ Top’s Pearl necklace and praying…to make it one piece….

-Looks like I may be stuck in Montana for awhile, there is no way in hell I am driving through shit like that again, and apparently there is 5 mountain passes between here and Seattle.

Trying to get better...

-So I'm trying to get better at posting, but not likely...

-So for those of you who get Christmas cards, they will be late. I've been working on the letter, but haven't picked out a card picture yet. As I will be spending the next 4-5 days straight driving 4-500+ miles a day for work, from Eugene, Oregon, to Atlanta, GA. I am actually in Reno, NV tonight after covering 480+ miles in about 9 hrs. The issue is finding a hotel, and then the DOT driving time rules I have to follow.

-So I need to leave early, I missed an awesome drive through some probably gorgeous scenery through a few national parks and forests.

-So I'm driving through this national forest, it's freakin' dark out, raining, and I have no clue where I'm going on a two lane road, heavy fog, the shoulder is roughly 1' wide soft dirt, there are signs warning for deer, and the trees are right next to the road, and after the shoulder ends, the road drops off a good sheer 10', and then signs warning about cattle, fucking A!

-And the elevation changes today were crazy, I went up and down mountains all freaking day! From sea level up to and over 4000+ foot passes, and then miles of descents marked with signs warning trucks...kiss though brakes good-bye...

I'm back

-So I apologize for the lack of posts, but I was without my personal computer for the last 4+ weeks while I had them swapped out back in Maine.

-Fuck me, the damm ugly ass bartender spoke shitty English and comprehended even less. Then the only other dude sitting at the bar also didn't speak English very well, but he comprehended English alot better than she did. Good grief!

It's October 26th

-It's October 26th in Saskatoon and it's fucking snowing. I've got a 19,000lbs rear wheel drive truck and it's freaking snowing...yippie...